Cynicism is the most effective tool to utilize in making political decisions. It essentially boils down the White House race to a game of the lesser of two evils, saving you time and frustration. It also acknowledges the candidacies of third parties, but laughs at the idea that voting for them will do anything but take away votes from a more likely-to-win party. This was my main method of candidate selection for the few years since I was able to vote, and the decade or so before that. At least, it was. A few years before now a candidate stepped in that embodied my ideal politician so closely, that it made me think twice of reducing governmental policy to a “who do I dislike the least” process. He wasn’t perfect, and we disagreed on a lot of core issues, but what he broadcasted in speeches and rallies was the greatest political personality in recent history. A willingness to cooperate with both sides of the spectrum, an eagerness to please his demographic more than special interest, and most importantly, the ability to admit that he can be wrong, and a happiness to incorporate another views if presented with logic and rationality. I was ecstatic to see that this man was a primary candidate for the Democratic nomination, and hoped that he would be sitting the White House a ½ year from now. Unfortunately, John Edwards was quickly defeated in the Personality-Battle of Clinton and Obama, and disappeared off the Presidential map. The “lesser evil” game was afoot once again.

I never really sided with Madam Clinton, despite being an avid supporter of her husband. A woman so embalmed in an industry she tried to destroy years before screams of bad choice. From what the Right Side broadcasted, the candidates frightened the crap out of me. We had the Religious Zealot wanting to get rid of the Constitution in favor of a Bible-based doctrine; the renounced old men eager to switch sides at the drop of a dollar; and the businessman that would run the country in the least efficient way possible: as if it was an American corporation. Thankfully the least batshit candidate has gotten the for nod, and the Left has given Hillary encouragement for the next round, but a gentle kick out of the door for this one.           

Both sides seem a bit faulty at this point, changing their policies in directly after getting the nod; McCain stifled his liberal leanings on abortion/gay marriage even deeper, and Obama dramatically lengthened his timetable for Iraq Withdrawal from 3 months to around 19. This doesn’t speak well for either of them holding on to their values. But if one votes for a President in this snake-oil salesman phase of the election time cycle, they need to have their natural voting rights revoked. We are left then with the (current) stances of both men to determine where we most align with.

McCain was extraordinarily liberal for the new-Christian-Conservative class, hence the aforementioned switch. If he had stayed on his horse for the most part, it would have been a much tougher vote to make based on social issue. Although I think a man trapped in a Vietnamese P.O.V. camp for a decade deserves therapy rather than a candidacy. Now that McCain has assassinated his former, almost Nixon-Republican self, he and I stand at a divide on all things Abortion, Economy (Reagan is his idol, that can’t be good,) School Prayer, Gay Rights, Creationism, School Spending, Health Care, and “Homeland Security,” to highlight the main issues. His (non-corporate) Tax ideas are more align with traditional Conservative fiscal policy, which is his sole appeal for me at this point. But it will take a lot to get me to vote Republican, even if he returns to his previous liberal leanings, for the sole reason of his Foreign Policy. The man’s initiative can be summed up as he did this past January to a crowd of Polk City, Florida supporters, “…there will be other wars…we’re gonna have a lot to do.” When our current War has been far too much for us, both economically and socially, being eager for more is a sign of insanity, rather than anything else.  

Obama’s camp has practically trademarked the word “change” at this point. You’ll hear it more in news coverage of their rallies than you will walking down a street infested with desperate homeless people. Stance-wise Obama and I skip off hand-in-hand along the Iraq War, Government Reform (aka the “apologize for Bush and fix everything he did” initiative,) the Job Market, and pretty much everything I disagreed with McCain on. I support McCain’s nuclear power plan against Obama’s electric car batteries, and the conservative plan on Immigration is closer to functioning than anything the liberals have come up with. Obama does seem to be more open to revision on his policies than McCain, and his refusal to fall in line with the usual Election coverage nonsense of flag pins and the like is refreshing. The most probable Vice President to Obama seems to be Edwards, as the think tanks want to believe, so that pretty much tips Obama’s game to the “least likely to ruin the country any further” award.

In the days of news reports focusing more on candidate’s personal lives and habits rather than their policy concepts and ambitions, it’s hard to take anyone calling my cynicism at the political game serious. Being jaded is superior to stroking you ego by staying home on voting night, and it simplifies the nonsense both sides heap onto the ballets and television screens. Obama’s got the most “better than…” points, so he gets the cup this round. I’m confident in my assumption that he’ll get the Presidential prize as well, unless the K.K.K. have more money in Washington than I think.

Current GamePartisan Staff Election tally:

Barr (L) - 0

McCain (R) - 0

Nader (I) - 0

Obama (D) - 2